Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
