Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
