today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Randomize
