hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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