now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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