@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
