did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
