it wasn't lemon gatorade
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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