I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
