i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
