I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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