If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
