omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
