The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
