I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
