Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize