I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
