i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
