the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
