i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
