Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
