he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
