Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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