sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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