Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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