Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
