god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
