I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize