Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
