Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
