so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
