I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're too hungover to prance.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
