I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
