You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize