shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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