farters have to be the big spoon...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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