I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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