It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize