just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
third nipple confirmed
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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