she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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