yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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