I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
