like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
