there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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