matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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