i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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