The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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