What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
