I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
