I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
