escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
