question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.