The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These 27 Creepy People Did The Craziest Things To Prove Their Love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like