oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is