i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.