Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious