I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
