brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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