I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
